A CALL FROM THE OTHER WOMAN

By PHILIP CHIRWA

MS Rosemary Kapenta, of Lusaka’s Northmead area, was relaxing at her home when the telephone rang. She picked up the receiver and breathed into the mouthpiece,”Mr Kapenta’s home here. Can I help you?”
“Can I speak to Ms Kapenta, please?” came a female voice from the other end of the line.
“This is Ms Kapenta speaking,” she replied.

CALLER: “Ooh, so you are the famous Ms Kapenta? Lucky me! Do you have a copy of today’s Zambia Daily Mail?”

MS KAPENTA: “Yes, I have. What about it?”

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CALLER: “Read the classified smalls page. There is an advert there which you might find quite interesting.”

MS KAPENTA: “Really? But who’s on the line?”

CALLER: “You should have asked me about that earlier. Anyway, just call me Stella.”

MS KAPENTA: “And what item are you referring to?”

CALLER: “Turn to page 12, column 4. There, you will see an advert headed ‘Birthday Greetings.’ Read it and give me your opinion. I am waiting.”
To Ms Kapenta’s shock, there was an advert in the mentioned column in which a certain girl who had signed herself as Petro was wishing her (Ms Kepenta’s) husband, Reymond Kapenta, a happy 41st birthday!
The message read: “Happy 41st birthday.sweetheart.I’ll always cherish the love we share for each other.Wishing you mamy more happy returns. Love, Petro.”
CALLER: “Have you read the ad?”

MS KAPENTA (CURTLY): “Yes, I have.”

CALLER: “And what’s your comment?”

MS KAPENTA: “What comment? I have no comment.”
CALLER: “Then you are a fool! Any self-respectimg housewife would be angry with such an ad; for it clearly demonstrates that your man doesn’t love you.”

MS KAPENTA: “I would only get concerned if it was my husband who placed the ad in the newspaper. As it is, I have no cause to feel angry/”

CALLER: “So you are not angered by the ad?”

MS KAPENTA: “Mama Officer, what’s your problem? You asked me to read the ad, and I did. You then asked me to give you my comment, This too I have done. Now, what else do you want from me?”

CALLER: “Don’t be silly, you frog!”

MS KAPENTA: “Are you telling me that you are the whore my husband is using as a loo to relieve himself?”

CALLER (ANGRILY): “What!”

MS KAPENTA: “I thought I was speaking in English, the language you seem to understand well.”

CALLER: “What do you mean, you stupid, good-for-nothing woman? A finished witch like you calling me a whore? God forbid. You’ll pay heavily for that! I wish I was there face to face with you. I would have broken every bone in your miserable little body. An ugly woman like you calling me a whore? I can’t stand that.”

MS KAPENTA: “So what are you going to do? Let’s not go in circles, my angry young lady. What do you want? Tell me before I cut the line.”

CALLER: “Don’t be stupid, woman! Wait until I meet you. I’ll mutilate you like a dog!”
MS KAPENTA: “Go ahead. I would love that.”

CALLER: “You think I’m joking, er? Let me tell you today. Mr Kapenta is mine and mine alone. Reymond Kapenta. He’s my personal property. I repeat: Mr Kapenta is my personal property.”
And in a deliberate move to annoy Ms Kapenta even more, the caller described in graphic detail what a “wonderful time” she had with Mr Kapenta the previous weekend. “And you call such a man your husband? My foot! If I were you, I would just bugger off.”
Again, Ms Kapenta cut the line and this time she did not replace the receiver on the cradle….
Such insulting calls became the order of the day for poor Ms Kapenta. But each time she confronted her husband about the mystery caller, he would vehemently deny any knowledge of such a person and advise her to beware of single girls who had developed a habit of breaking other people’s marriages.
“Just ignore such girls,” Mr Kapenta would say. “They are a frustrated and desperate lot who have been forsaken by men because of their loose lifestyles. Don’t fall into their trap.”
While accepting her husband’s advice, Ms Kapenta was determined to trace the mystery caller who was hurling abuse at her so that she could teach her a lesson she would never forget for the rest of her wretched life. It was obvious that the caller, whoever she was, was encouraged to continue making the provocative calls because she thought it was impossible for Ms Kapenta to trace her.
One day, Ms Kapenta approached a friend working for Zamtel to find out if it was possible to trace a mystery caller who was hurling abuse at her using the family’s home telephone number.
The Zamtel friend told Ms Kapenta that it was not possible to do that unless prior arrangements were made with the company to corner such a caller. But even then, she said, it was only possible if one knew exactly when the caller was likely to call.
“But we can tell you the number of people who called your line on a particular day,” the Zamtel friend said. “This will entail calling each and every one of these numbers and hopefully you may corner the tormentor in the process.”
Fortunately for Ms Kapenta, she knew the latest date when the mystery caller made her last call. A quick check through the records revealed that the same number appeared on several other dates.
It was then discovered that the tormentor used telephone No. 20450 to call Ms Kapenta. So, she dialled this number. She could not help congratulating herself when a familiar female voice piped through from the other end of the line.
“Is that Radio Phoenix?” she asked deliberately, knowing that it was not the place she actually wanted,
“This is Viva Enterprises Limited,” the female voice replied.
“Ooh I see,” said Ms Kapenta in a feigned voice, still not believing her good luck. “But do you know the number to Radio Phoenix?”
“No thanks,” she hung up.
The number 20450 happened to be the direct line to Viva Enterprises’ managing director. However, the number was situated in the secretary’s office from where it was transferred to her boss.
It would appear that the secretary, later identified as Stella, waited until her boss was out of the office before calling Ms Kapenta.
Stella was a pretty face with two children born out of wedlock. There was an army officer who had wanted to marry her but she jilted him just when he was arranging to pay lobola.
She fell in love with another man called Magic Banda who ditched her upon discovering that she was not a “straight” woman.
She would have gone back to the army officer but he had already married someone else who turned out to be more beautiful and more mature than she was.
As years went by, Stella got desperate for marriage. It was then that she fell in love with Ms Kapenta’s husband, Reymond, who had made it quite clear to her that she would only be a “spare wheel” as he was already married.
But Stella was determined to marry Mr Kapenta even if it meant using unorthodox methods to achieve her objective. Her plan was to subject Ms Kapenta to a vicious psychological warfare and frustrate her into divorcing her husband by telling her all the little silly things that she and Reymond did each time he went to her flat in Rhodes Park.
Then there was this day when Stella was seated in her office when she received a female visitor clad in school uniform with a schoolbag slung on her left shoulder.
The girl told Stella that her boyfriend, Reymond, was very sick and that he had asked her to collect her (Stella) because he wanted to see her.
“Unfortunately, his wife left for Zimbabwe yesterday to see a sick aunt, She is not aware of her husband’s illness, so Mr Kapenta asked me to pass through here and collect you,” she said,
Upon hearing this, Stella got really worried. She immediately got permission from her boss and hailed a cab to take her to Mr Kapenta’s house.
They found several women seated outside the house looking somewhat sad. It was after she had been led into the house that Stella realised, much to her shock, that she was a victim of a trap.
Reymond was then actually swimming in excellent health except that he had rushed to Kabwe on company business.
The mastermind of the trap was of course Ms Kapenta and as Stella entered the house, she taunted her: “Yes madam, welcome to Mr Kapemta’s house. So, you are the prostitute who has been insulting me on the phone all this time? You will see today.”
So saying, Ms Kapenta picked up a short hose pipe and started whipping Stella as she screamed and writhed in agony. She tried to escape but the door was locked,
Meanwhile, the other women joined in assaulting the tormentor.
The “schoolgirl,” who turned out to be a housewife and one of the Kapentas’ neighbours, did not participate in the beating but watched the proceedings until she felt Stella had been punished enough and called for a stop to the assault.
After she was released, Stella was ordered to scrum, which she did…

.The author is a Lusaka-based media consultant and a freelance writer. For comments, sms 0977425827, whatsapp 0777259558 or email: pchirwa2022@yahoo.com.